Kingdom Hearts T&H Truth or Dare
by Gr4Yr4iN
Summary: Welcome one, welcome all to Truth or Dare KH style!
1. Intro

**A/N: Fics like this are really my type so I thought I'd give it a go. Can't hurt, right?**

* * *

><p>Welcome one and welcome all to Truth and Dare...you guessed it, with the Kingdom Hearts crew!<p>

Here you get to torture...I mean have fun with all the characters. And yes, I will take requests. I will only put my own dares/truths if deemed necessary.

Okay, let the madness begin.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have to admit, I never thought I'd get reviews so soon. Oh well, the madness has to begin sometime right?**

* * *

><p>Gr: I'm gonna be calling mysel Gr from now on. Like it Sora?<p>

Sora: Yeah, yeah, Just get on with it, I can't wait.

Gr: To get tortured? Okay, Let's start it then. Here we have some dares from **JakDaxPeaceMaker** and he says:

**Sup Names Jak and before I do my truth or dare, I'm inviting someone here "Checks Watch" He should be here right abou-**

**"BOOM" Door exploded and someone in a robot walker comes into the studio.**

**?: Why hello specimens of great power, Allow me to introduce myself "Throws hood off and revealing Emperor Tachyone, My master from The cragmite homeworld".**

**Tachyon: I am Emperor Percival Tachyon, Crown prince of the cragmits, conquerer of space and time, and ruler of the universe.**

**Me: Didn't you say this To Ratchet and Clank at Metroplis before he escaped and broke your Robot Walker which cost millions to repair, embrassing "Laughs"**

**Tachyon: "Glares"**

**Me: "Sweatdrop" Anyway, Aren't forgetting something**

**Tachyon: Oh, That reminds me, TROOOPERS!**

**Suddenly the entire studio is filled with cragmite soliders and is aiming at the Kingdom hearts Gang with their high tech guns.**

**Tachyon: Now then "Walks over to Author" This is a gift from us to you the cragmite soldiers, If one of these pitful specimens "Points at Kingdom hearts gang" Try to escape or Try to kill us or you, THEY WILL BE SHOT TO A MILLION PIECES HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH "Cough" Now then "walk towards me" Shall we begin**

**Me: "Smirks" Certainly my lord**

**Sora: You are a stupid child with no knowledge of the keyblades true power, Riku should have this keyblade, He his a fine specimen unlike you stupid inferior child.**

**Princess Mansex(that's right my goal in life is to piss you off)you must make me part of organization 13 or kingdom hearts gets it!**

**xigbar:dude you are DA MAN!anyways shoot axel with this weapon i have devised.(hands xiggy gun)**

**xaldin:go jump in a volcano. That's an order!**

**vexen:i am starting to like you a little so i spare your ,DESTROY YOUR LAB!**

**lexaeus:lend me your tomohawk.**

**zexion:I think you are awesome and deserve more respect and reading a $200 certificate to Barnes and Noble and you get to whack axel in the head whenever you want.(gives a hug that makes him smile)also nice breakdancing moves!(it is from a story)**

**saix:i keel you!**

**axel:up until zexion's death i liked you but now...eat water!(squirts with a water gun then throws him in a pool then throws him in a lake then throws him in atlantica)but you are kinda funny.**

**demyx:i dare you to be my older brother!you to zexion and axel!**

**luxord:I WILL BEAT YOU AT POKER!**

**marluxia:you must also be my brother!(hugs the awesome flower man)**

**larxene:you are awesome!you have to act like zexion for 2 whole chapters.**

**roxas:no comment.**

**Aqua: Kiss Vanitas on the lips**

**Terra: Punch vanitas and give him a black eye**

**Axel: Drink water from a dirty toilet with a bendy straw **

**Saix: Chew your own toe nails...slowly in front of everyone**

**Hayner: Have you notice that you can pass down as Sarah Jessica Parker's gay son**

**Olette: Did you notice Fuu breaking into your house taking a piss on your clothes that your wearing "Starts laughing". Plus I have it on tape "Shows the video to everyone".**

**Pence: Eat dead rats in front of everyone and eat garbage and dog's poop.**

**Tachyon: Now my other set of questions**

**Everyone except author and jak: You will bow to me**

**Baby Mansex or Princess Queen Mansex: Shave your hair and dress up as a princess and dance around and call yourself princess mansex "Starts laughing and so does tachyon and the cragmite soliders"**

**Vanitas: You will become my servant or else "Points at the cragmites soliders torture room"**

**Xion: I feel your suffering, BURN DOWN MANSEX'S HOUSE **

**Axel: Be stuck in a room filled with axel fangirls**

**Xigbar: Destroy Larxene's room and shave her head bald while she's asleep and blame it on mansex. "Snickers"**

**Tachyon: "Looks through paper" Well I'm finished "Looks at me" You may begin your question jak.**

**Me: Thank you my lord.**

**My Questions**

**Author: Have you heard of a story called "The horribly bloody death of kairi" **

**Sora: Give kairi a black eyes and burn her house down, money, and clothes.**

**Roxas: Shave your hair, wear unremovable girly makeup, wear a short mini skirt and wear a woman's bra and eat dog poop and drink a gallon of oil.**

**Mansex: Did you hire a heroiron addicted prostitue to pose as your mother**

**Fuzzface: Xaldin shave your sideburns and try to kill mansex with your lances**

**Zexion: Flip off mansex and kick him in the balls and slap olette and kairi's faces and give them black eyes**

**Luxord: Get drunk and tell Hayner he needs to wear womens clothing to school forever**

**Xion: I love you xion "Runs up to her kisses her in front of Roxas**

**Roxas: No comment, you are annoying**

**Well that's all for now and "Looks at Author" We will have a surpirse for you outside for the next chapter so see ya. **

**P.S These questions (Or dares) are super funny.**

Gr: You heard it, Sora let's...wait a sec. Didn't I see those question on another T&H fic?

Sora: Does it matter? I think it's pretty common if it's happening.

Gr: Yeah, you're right. Now give it to Riku.

Sora: Give him what?

Gr: Your Keyblade, idiot. You have to do the dare.

Sora: *crosses arms* what if I don't?

Gr: Hmm good question. Okay everybody, listen up. From now on whoever decides NOT to do their dares will be fed to my pet Hydra.

Demyx: Aww, Hydras are cute.

Gr: Oh, not this one. *summons a portal to the world of Hydras*

Everyone: *silently shakes in their boots while looking at a Hydra eating a man alive*

Gr: So, are we clear?

Everyone: *nods in agreement*

Gr: Okay. Sora. Do it.

Sora: Fine. But I have to warn you Riku...

Riku: I don't care. Gimme your Keyblade! *snatches Kingdom Key away*

Sora: Meh. *summons Star Seeker*

Riku: What the...?

Sora: What? You never said I had to give him all of my Keyblades.

Riku: *pouts*

Gr: Okay, Mansex! Your turn.

Xemnas: DAMN YOU SUARE ENIX FOR GIVING ME THIS NAME!

Larxene: Well build a bridge and get over it.

Xemnas: *sighs* Whatever. Let's do this.

JakDaxPeaceMaker: *comes in* Have you decided?

Xemnas: Yes. Welcome to the Organization.

JakDaxPeaceMaker: cool. *sits cooly besides Kairi* hi.

Kairi: *waves back then moves away*

Gr: Okay...? Xigbar, you're up.

Xigbar: Do I have to?

Gr: I don't know, do you? I mean your dare is sort of to your benefit, so do you?

Xigbar: *looka at his dare and smiles* Oh my birthday came a month early. I'll do it.

Gr: Okay. *smiles*

Xigbar: *summons Sharpshooter and shoots Axel in the foot.

Axel: OW! When's my dare comin' up?

Gr: You really don't get it do you? Alright, Xaldin?

Xaldin: Fine *jumps into random volcano then comes out unharmed inside a ball of air*

Gr: The hell?

Xaldin: You never said I couldn't * sits back in his seat*

Gr: Okay, Vexen.

Vexen: Okay *looks at dare. smiles when he sees the "Like you" part* Oh, finally someone recognises my worth. *finishes reading then frowns* You hate me.

Axel: Hey, if you can't do it someone has to. *blows up Vexen's Lab*

Vexen: *faints*

Lexaeus: *gives JakDaxPeaceMaker his tomahawk*

JakDaxPeaceMaker: Sweet.

Zexion: Thanks. *takes certificate* And Axel *hits Axel in the head. Hard*

Axel: OW!

Zexion: That's for all the times you called me Emo! *whacks him again*

Gr: Okay, Saix?

Saix: Don't bother. *summons Lunatic and stabs self*

Gr: Saix?

Saix: *dead*

Gr: Okay then? Axel, you're up.

Axel: sweet. *smile disappears when he gets pushed into a portal to Atlantica*

Gr: Moving on. Demyx!

Demyx: Welcome to the family! *hugs JDPM hard* Axel, Zexy, join in.

Axel and Zexion: *joins in hug*

JDPM: *wheezing* can't breathe

Demyx: sorry *lets JDPM go*

Gr: Luxord.

Luxord: Bring it on

x-after a game of poker-x

Luxord: but how is it possible? I always win! ALWAYS!

JDPM: Tough luck.

Marluxia: *smiles* I love you too *hugs JDPM back*

Larxene: What? I have to act like Zexion? Fine. *sits beide Zexion in the emo corner*

Roxas: *smiles*

Gr: Aqua...Aqua? Where's Aqua?

Terra: *taps Gr on the shoulder* look there.

Gr: *looks there and sees Aqua and Vanitas passionately kissing each other* no comment. Terra?

Terra: Oh, I've been wanting to do this for a long time. *punches Vanitas hard - hard as in breaking buildings with a single trike hard - on the face*

Vanitas: *falls back and faints with a black eye*

Gr: That was fun. Okay next is...Axel?

Axel: *comes back into room dripping wet* I get another one?

Gr: Just read it. *hands Axel the dare*

Axel: *reads dare* This is just sad.

Gr: So...you'd prefer the Hydras?

Axel: No. I'll do it. *walks into random bathroom and puts a bendy straw in the loo*

Gr: Slurp it.

Axel: *slurps and immidiately gags and throws up on the toilet seat*

Gr: Okay...Saix?

Saix: *dead*

Gr: I guess this just wasn't supposed to happen. Hayner?

Hayner: Yes, yes I have noticed that. Thank you. *looks pissed off*

Olette: *breaks down crying after watching tape*

Gr: There there...

Olette: *glares at Gr*

Gr: Okay, Pence?

Pence: Bring it!

Gr: *summons dead rats, a garbage truck and two dogs* Eat up.

Pence: *eats dead rats* Yummy, although I would like some chilli sauce with it. *eats everything on the back of the truck* I'm almost full. *Two dogs poo in front of him and he eats it* Have some more?

Everyone alse in the room: *throws up*

Tachyon: Now bow to me!

Everyone except me and Jak: *bows* All hail Tachyon.

Tachyon: Good. Now do your dares.

Xemnas: *summons random razor and shaves head* Happy?

Tachyon: NO!

Vanitas: Fine, fine, I'll be your slave...on one condition. Do you have cookies?

Tachyon: Yes.

Vanitas: Ok. I'm your slave. *bends down and lets Tachyon use him as a leg rest8

Xion: Finally! *Casts Firaga at a random house with the numeral I on it andburns it to the ground*

Xemnas: *eye twitching uncontrollably* Kingdom Hearts!

Axel: *comes back from bathroom* I have to what?

(Suddenly random Axel fangirls burst through the door and come in screaming into the room and pushes Axel into the bathroom and locks door)

Xigbar: I'll do that when night comes. *evilly grins*

Larxene: *laughs nervously*

Jak: Yay, more questions from me!

Gr: No I haven't...but I would certainly love to read it. Would you like me to read it Kairi.

Kairi: *on the verge of tears* If it's necessary.

Sora: Okay, my turn. *reads dare and starts tearing up* I'm sorry Kairi.

Kairi: For what?

Sora: For this. *punches Kairi and gives her a black eye*

Kairi: *goes over the verge and bursts into tears*

Sora: And this. *Casts Firaga on Kairi's house and burns it down*

Kairi: *eye twitches* ...You...You...You...

Sora: I'm sorry *starts crying*

Riku: Get over it!

Roxas: Really?

Gr: Yes. *hands Roxas razor*

Roxas: *shaves head* happy? Now I look like Cueball!

Gr: Deal with it. Your dare's not done yet.

Roxas: Let me see that. *snatches dare paper from Gr and frowns* Oh poo.

Gr: Yes, you're right. *Summons random dog who immidiately defacates in front of Roxas*

Roxas: ...

Gr: Where's your dress?

Olette: Right here. *rushes to Roxas and puts a pink dress on him. Then begins applying make-up to his face*

Gr: Eat up!

Roxas: *smells the poo and faints beside it*

Gr: LOL. Xemnas?

Xemnas: How did he know...Yes I did.

Gr: ...Okay? Fuzzface, you're up. *waves razor at Xaldin*

Xaldin: Fine. *takes razor from Gr and shaves off sideburns*

Luxord: *drunk* Man, who let this *hic* guy in here?

Zexion: *grins evilly* I don't know why you like me so much, Jak, but I thank you nonetheless. *kicks Xemnas in the nuts*

Xemnas: *writhes in pain*

Zexion: *bitchslaps Kairi and Olette a hundred times until they get blackeyes* Fun.

Luxord: *drunk* who's Weiner.

Hayner: It's Hayner!

Luxord: Shut up Weiner, go to school!

Hayner: You're not my dad.

Luxord: How do you know? I your mom the one with the curly hair?

Hayner: Sonuva...

Luxord: Do it, son. * laughs then hics*

Hayner: ...

Xion: *kisses Jak back* Your lips taste like tacos.

Roxas: *glares at Jak*

Gr: And that's all from Jak.

Everyone: We're freed!

Gr: Not quite. Now we have some dares from **T . J . Nightshade** and she says:

**Hey! I'm here to also have fun with the Kh characters! And torture some of them! ;D Let's get started!**

**Xemnas: Go die in a hole. I don't like you.**

**Xigbar: Shoot Riku in the foot five times, then dress up as Barbossa.**

**Xaldin: Go in a room with a ticked off Deady. (Deady is a teady bear that is possessed by an evil spirit.)**

**Vexen: Let Axel loose in your labs. Then, go and stab yourself 554 times with an icicle.**

**Lexaeus: Uhh... talk more often? I can't think of anything for you.**

**Zexion: Give your Lexicon to Axel, then cut your hair so we can see both of your eyes.**

**Saix: Act like a puppy! XP**

**Axel: Punch someone important, then have as many cookies as you want! :P**

**Demyx: Burn Arpeggio, then shave your mullet.**

**Luxord: Don't get drunk for 3 chapters.**

**Marluxia: Boil ALL of your flowers, then eat them!**

**Larxene: Die in a hole and go to Hades. You deserve it!**

**Roxas: Have as many cookies as you want, then have 13 sea salt ice creams! :D**

**Xion: Stab yourself with the Kingdom Key.**

**Sora: Same as Roxy.**

**Kairi: Why is it that you just won't die?**

**Riku: Dress up as a monkey, then go in a room filled with your rabid fan girls. Good luck, you're gonna need it.**

**Terra: You know that your name means dirt, right? And why do you wear a skirt?**

**Aqua: Go out on a date with Zack, you promised him it.**

**Ventus: Eh, same as Sora.**

**Vanitas: Wear a pink frilly dress, and you can't wear your mask!**

**Xehanort: Wear a dress like Vanitas' except way more frilly.**

**Ienzo: You don't deserve a parent like Even, I'm taking you home with me! XD**

**And, I believe that's it! Have fun!**

Gr: You heard the lady, get moving!

Xemnas: If i'm dead, who's gonna run the Organization?

Gr: Nexark will.

Xemnas: who-

Gr: DIE! *Makes an abyss on the floor right underneath Xemnas and it sucks him in*

Xemnas: *screams bloody mureder as he falls to his demise*

Gr: Next!

Xigbar: *summons Sharpshooter and shoots Riku in the foot 15 times*

Riku: OW! I thought T.J said 5!

Xigbar: *laughs* I couldn't resist. Now...who or what is a Barbossa.

(T.J comes in and shows him a picture of Barbossa)

Xigbar: Oh Okay...No.

Gr: Really? Then you'd choose the Hydra?

Xigbar: No, but-

Gr: DIE! *summons a portal and pushes Xigbar in* next!

Xaldin: Okay. *goes into room and closes door. five seconds later screams come out of the room*

Gr: Vexen?

Vexen: What have I done to deserve this? *stabs self 554 times* ...and I'm still alive?

T.J: Nope. *pushes Vexen with a finger and he falls down dead*

Gr: highfive! *high-fives T.J.*next!

Lexaeus: What do you want me to talk about?

Gr: I've heard enough. Shut up.

Lexaeus: *looks away offended*

Zexion: *sighs and gives Lexicon to Axel*

Axel: YAY, I have a dictionary!

Zexion: It's a Lexicon!

Axel: I'ma call it whatever I want. Got it memorized?

Zexion: Whatever. Are yiu sure you wanna see my other eye?

Everyone: YES!

Zexion: *Moves hair to the side to show a small portal sucking it air slowly* You wanna look at that al through the chapter?

Everyone: *shakes head*

Zexion: Good. Then My dare is cancelled.

Gr: Fine with me. Saix?

Saix: wuff.

Gr: Show some enthusiasm, man.

Saix: *rougher* wuff!

Axel: Let me handle this. *shows Saix a ball*

Saix: *instantly sits on the floor like a puppy with a lagging tongue*

Axel: *puts ball away*

Saix: *normal* What happened?

Gr: nothing, nothing at all. Axel?

Axel: Who do you want me to punch?

T.J and Gr: Obama.

Axel: Sure. *makes a portal to the Whitehouse, punches Obama in the face, and comes back.* Where are my cookies?

Gr: Over there *points to a mountain of cookies behind him*

Axel: Sweet! *starts stuffing himself with cookies*

Gr: Demyx?

Demyx: *starts crying* I have to burn Peggie?

Gr: Unfortunately, yes. Axel?

Axel: *snaps finger and Arpeggio bursts into flames*

Demyx: NOOOOO! *shaves mullet off* Happy? *runs away crying*

Gr: That was sad. moving on...

Luxord: *drunk* what?

Gr: You fail *summons a portal to a world where Xigbar is riding Hydra and pushes Luxord in* Wait, was that...?

T.J: Yep. Xigbar was riding Fluffly.

Gr: Oh Poo. Marluxia?

Marluxia: *reads dare and looks at Gr bewildered* You want me to eat my babies? NEVER! I'd rather die.

Gr: Your choice mate. *pushes Marluxia in after Luxord*

Larxene: Whatever losers *Takes a portal to The Underworld and gasps*

Gr: Yeah, we'll miss you. NOT. Roxas?

Roxas: Sweet! *starts eating cookies with Axel* Hey Axel, wanna grab some sea salt ice cream?

Axel: Sure. *Walks away with Roxas*

Xion: But what did I do wrong?

Gr: Dunno. But a dare is a dare.

Xion: *stabs self with Kingdom Key* OWCH!

Gr: Tough luck Xion. Go rest.

Xion: *falls asleep on floor*

Sora: Yay! *starts eating cookies with Axel and Roxas and then eats 13 lollies*

Kairi: It's because Square Enix wanted to make me a Mary Sue but failed miserably, so...yeah.

Riku: I have fangirls?

Naruto: Believe it!

Gr: Wait, where'd he come from? *pushes Naruto into a portal to the Hydra world*

Riku: *dresses up in a monkey suit and heads into room with rabid fangirls* OH HELL NO! *fangirls lock door. Riku is heard screaming*

Gr: Moving on...

Terra: Yes, I know that. And it's not a skirt it's a tunic.

T.J: Looks like a skirt to me.

Terra: Well it's not, okay?

T.J: Whatever. Next!

Aqua: What, you still remember that?

Zack: *appears out of nowhere* Yep. Leg's go, babe.

Aqua: *Walks off with Zack*

Gr: Ventus?

Ventus: YAY! *jumps into mountain of cookies then follows Sora, Roxas and Axel to eat sea salt ice cream*

Vanitas: Make me!

Tachyon: Ahem!

Vanitas: Yes Master! *dresses in a frilly dress and takes off mask*

Kairi: *drools when she looks at his face* Wow...

Xehanort: What is the meanig of this? *Tacyon makes him wear a frilly dress* Oh hell.

Ienzo: Does that mean I'm adopted now?

T.J: No, silly! It means you're my new baby brother!

Ienzo: but...but...but I'm emo. People don't like emo kids.

T.J: Nonsense! *Hugs Ienzo and makes him cry*

Gr:Anyway that's all for today. We hope to see you again next chapter!

T.J: Yeah what he said. Ta!

Gr: Hey T.J. Wanna co-host?

T.J: I don't know, what about all the people that died?

Gr: The one's who died will be revived with these *shows T.J a revival leaf* and the ones in the Hydra realm will be here for the next chapter.

T.J: Alright guys, get reviewing!

Gr: *whines* That's my line. LOL.

* * *

><p><strong>x-and the curtains fall-x<strong>


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh my gawd...I'm gonna love this chapter. I don't doubt the fact that you, our wonderful audience/readers/daregivers, will undeniably love it too. Let the madness ensue...**

* * *

><p>Gr: Hey T.J, it's showtime!<p>

T.J: *Talking to anonymous friend on phone* Yep, Let the madness ensue. *Hangs up*

Gr: Then may I ak you to read the dares today?

T.J: It's an honour! Ooh, and the first set of dares are from yours truly. I say:

**HEEEY! I'M BACK! *Scary music* And I got more ways to have fun with the KH gang! And, Rain, I'd love to! But, I'll get on with the dares:**

**Xemnas: Dye your hair pink and pretend to be Marluxia! I need a camera...**

**Xigbar: I heard that you only wear the eye patch to look cool, is it true?**

**Xaldin: Why do you have dreadlocks? And cut them.**

**Vexen: Go inside of a biant oven for science.**

**Lexaeus: Would you be more talkative if you were texting?**

**Zexion: Get a Twlight book.**

**Saix: Bang Zexion's head on the wall yelling "TWILIGHT ISN'T LITERATURE!"**

**Axel: Burn down Bill Gates's house then you get a Firehound.**

**Demyx: I feel bad for you. Not. Go watch Scary Movie 1 through 4.**

**Luxord: Dress up as Voltaire the sing 'Day of the Dead.'**

**Marluxia: Shave ourself bald.**

**Larxene: Go in a room with my pack of Volti. (Olti re like wolves, but they're way more ferocious and they are way stronger.)**

**Roxas: Go have fun! :D**

**Xion: You deserved it because I really don't like you. Stuff yourself in an Iron Madin.**

**Riku: Switch places with my best friend Amanda.**

**Sora: Can I have your Keybade Two Across? I'll give you a cake...**

**Kairi: Stab yourself with your girly Keyblade.**

**Terra: When you said "Being a Keyblade Master is all I've ever dreamed about!" my firt thought was, "Terra... YOU NEED A HOBBY!" Your thoughts?**

**Ventus: Have a cake! :D**

**Aqua: You do know I was watching your date with Zack? And I video taped it for future blackmail...**

**Cloud: Dance the caramelldansen dance, while listening to it. And I get to film it.**

**Leon: Same as Cloud.**

**Sephiroth: Same as Leon.**

**Aerith: Why do you always wear pink?**

**Okay, that's all. Now I gotta wait for Amanda to call back. . See ya!**

Gr: You heard the lady!

Xemnas: Kingdom Hearts! What have I done to deserve this?

Gr: Let's see. You tried to kill Sora and use his heart to complete Kingdom Hearts, almost killed Riku, Xion died becuse of you...Need anymore?

Xemnas: *growls* Where's the dyer. *Gr makes it magically appear and hands to Xemnas*

Gr: Now, no wasting.

Xemnas: *dyes hair pink and sighs* Happy now, author lady?

Gr: I'm a GUY, goddammit! I even cut my hair yesterday for you people. GAWD! *punches Xemnas and knocks him unconscious*

T.J: Umm...Rain?

Gr: How'd you know my name? *looks at Xemnas* Oh...my bad. *laughs nervously*

T.J: It's not fair! Continue!

Xigbar: Yes. 'Nuff said.

Xaldin: I have dreadlocks because Square Enix tested my look as a sick joke. I ended up looking good, so they kept it. And no.

Gr: Hydra...

Xaldin: Fine. *summons lance and cuts dreadlocks*

Gr: Ah, I love my life. Next!

Vexen: What does 'biant' mean?

T.J: What? *looks at dare* Oh, I meant giant. Sorry, was a typo.

Vexen: *goes into giant oven and sweats like crazy* what...what is this place? *feels the heat* Okay, it burns. Can I come out now?

T.J: Nope. *closes oven door and locks it*

Vexen: *heard screaming from inside*

T.J: Next!

Lexaeus: What's...texting?

T.J: *shows him what it means*

Lexaeus: Oh. *gets a phone from Gr and texts T.J*

Gr: What's it say?

T.J: *shows screen*

Screen: Hi.

Gr: I guess that answers the question. Zexion?

Zexion: *reading his book* What's 'Twilight'?

T.J: It's a book about vampires.

Zexion: Oh, sweet. *T.J gives him Twilight and he dumps his old book and starts reading Twilight*

Gr: Okay, not what I expected...

Saix: Oh, you don't know how long i've wanted to do this. *walks up to Zexion with evil grin*

Zexion: *looks up from book* What?

Saix: *picks up Zexion by the head and bangs in on the wall* TWILIGHT IS NOT LITERATURE!

Zexion: *bleeding from forehead* wha the fu-

Saix: *bashes Zexion's head into the wall harder* GET A LIFE, YOU FREAKING EMO FREAK!

Zexion: *falls to ground limp and faints soon after*

Roxas: That was mean...

Saix: *glares at Roxas*

Roxas: *shuts up*

T.J: Next!

Axel: Who's Bill Gates?

T.J: *shows him a picture of Bill Gates and his house*

Axel: Ok. Be back in five...*creates dark corridor and disappears*

(Five minutes later)

Axel: *steps in through dark corridor* Now give me my Firehound!

Gr: Here ya go *summons a Firehound in front of Axel*

Axel: Sweet!

Demyx: I don't like horror movies!

T.J: They're not horror, they're comedy.

Demyx: Oh...in that case, okay.

Gr: *summons TV, DVD player, and all four movies on DVD, and popcorn in the next room* There ya go.

Demyx: *goes into room with a bucket of popcorn*

Luxord: *drunk* Who's Volter? Is he a Pokemon?

T.J: *eye twitches* What did you just say?

Luxord; *drunk* I asked if he was a Pokemon. What if he tries to thundershock me?

T.J: *summons Voltaire costume and a massive speaker, with a microphone* Sing! NOW!

Luxord: *starts singing 'Day of the Dead' in completely wrong notes and octaves, etc.*

Demyx: *screams from next room* Keep it down! I'm trying to watch a movie here!

Xigbar: *shoots Luxord in the vocal cord and shuts him up*

Luxord: *chokes on himself and eventually faints*

Gr: ...*shivers* Next?

Marluxia: What is with all the shaving dares?

Gr: That's for the darers to answer. Now *hands Marluxia razor* get on with it.

Marluxia: *shaves himself bald* Happy?

Larxene: Lol. Now Xemmy can replace you.

Marluxia and Xemnas: *death glares Larxene*

Larxene: *shuts up*

Gr: Larxene? *points to a random door with "Beware: Volti Room" written on it*

Larxene: ...Oh poop. *walks in*

Gr: Three...two...one.

Larxene: *screams, snarls and sounds of high voltage are heard from the room*

T.J: Roxy!

Roxas: I love you co-uthor lady! *glomps T.J*

T.J: *faints from glomp*

Gr: *takes off sock and waves it in front of T.J's face*

T.J: *wakes up from the stench* Eww, gross man!

Gr: Most effective way to do anything. Next?

Xion: ...*walks into an Iron Maiden. Iron Maiden opens and Xion walks out wearing a bloody Iron Maiden tee*

Gr: ...Where'd you get that shirt?

Xion: ...*points inside Iron Maiden. There is a portal inside leading to an Iron Maiden concert*

T.J: ...Damn you Rain! *tackles Gr*

Gr: *falls to the ground* Ouch!

T.J: Next!

Riku: Where is she?

T.J: *points cell phone at Riku* here.

Riku: *takes the phone. As he touches it, he is sucked in as a girl comes out*

?: I'm Amanda!

T.J: Hi!

Amanda and T.J: *glomp each other*

Gr: *recovers from tackle* Next.

Sora: Which ones Two Across?

T.J: *checks through all of Sora's keychains* This one. *she takes it*

Sora: Meh, i still have oblivion.

Roxas: But that's mine. Use Jungle King or something.

Sora: Meh.

Gr: Next?

Kairi: ...*stabs self with her Keyblade and faints*

Terra: No comment.

Aqua: *laughs nervously* Oh poop. I hate you co-author lady. And you author...guy.

Gr and T.J: *high-fives each other*

Ventus: Yay cake! Omnomnomnom! *eats cake*

Cloud: ...I hate you T.J. *starts dancing* Oi, Leon! Join in!

Leon: ...I hate you Rain. *starts dancing* Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: Don't bother. *walks into an open Hydra portal*

Cloud and Leon: (=_O)

Gr: Oh, let me just throw in a dare. You two keep doing that until one of you ends up fainting.

T.J: LOL. Sweet unintended benefit!

Cloud and Leon: *death glares Gr and T.J*

Aerith: I'm a floergirl. What did you expect?

Gr: Green.

Aerith: Fine then. *magically tranforms pink dress into a green one* Happy?

Gr: Yes. And that's all from T.J.

Everyone: Yay...wait, there's more isn't there...

Gr: Yes. This set of dares is from Destiny's Call and they say:

**Me: Greetings, author. I'm Destiny, and I have my own special dares. Oh, and to help you enforce the rules, I've called for some help. They should be here…**

**(Dark Corridor appears)**

**Xemnas: Hey! That's copyrighted! Organization members only!**

**?: We are Organization members!**

**(Three people walk in with Organization cloaks. As one, they remove their hoods to reveal Dynilexs, Addixem, and Ularxa.)**

**Addixem: Hello, there. We're here to help you out. Give dares, and we get to kill anyone who attempts to escape. (Turns to me) That is what the deal is, right?**

**Me: Yep. Oh, and Dynilexs, aren't you forgetting something?**

**Dynilexs: (Malicious grin) Oh, yeah! (Walks over to Saïx and punches him in the face) That's for what you did to Raxsah, Ularxa, and Khanx!**

**Saïx: (Fazed) Who?**

**Ularxa: Oh, wouldn't you like to know. Anyways, destiny has the dares.**

**Xemnas: Change your name to Mansex for five chapters, and recognize that Dynilexs, Addixem, and Ularxa are members.**

**Xigbar: Meh, you're not my favorite, so go jump in a shark-infested lake (and no using special powers to not get hurt or get out)**

**Xaldin: You're a creeper! You must die a horrible death!**

**Vexen: Well, you're not my favorite, but my best friend is obsessed with you, so I'll spare your life, and you get to beat up Axel and lock him in a closet without a bathroom.**

**Lexaeus: Let Ularxa borrow your tomahawk so she can beat the snot out of Saïx with it.**

**Zexion: I like you quite a lot. (Up there with Demyx) and so does my BFF, so you get a library with every book in all the worlds. The only catch is you have to share with Addixem. (Don't worry, she's good with books)**

**Saïx: Let all of my OC's beat you senseless and dead for what you did to them and your friends.**

**Axel: Vexen, Zexion, Dynilexs, and Addixem are going to beat you up and lock you in a closet without a bathroom. (Revenge!)**

**Demyx: OMG! I love you! (Tacklehug) You get cookies, music, video games, and whatever you want for this chapter.**

**Luxord: Go take a hike up a mountain filled with evil creatures. (No powers or weapons)**

**Marluxia: Hm… well, I guess I'll just hug you and let you join Demyx.**

**Larxene: (Hug) you're so misunderstood, you're really very great and awesome. You get a day at the spa! (And afterwards destroy the houses of anyone you choose.**

**Roxas: Mmmm… try to rescue Axel from the closet without a bathroom. (Addixem and Dynilexs will tear you to pieces)**

**Xion: Go to the spa with Larxene, and join her in the destroying of houses.**

**Sora: Keyblade to me. Now.**

**Riku: Go jump off a cliff.**

**Kairi (hug) you're great! Go with Larxene and Xion.**

**Me: And that's all the separate dares. Now, I have a group dare.**

**Everyone except my OC's, Zexion, Vexen, the girls, me, Gr, Demyx, and Marluxia: You have to have a duel to the death with my OC's, including the ones I just called. Beware: Fifteen against Ten!**

**(Dark Corridor opens and twelve others walk in. They push their hoods down to reveal Timex, Raxsah, Xemria, Xenri, Aryx, Xemichal, Draxloh, Luxkls, Khanx, Nexark, Cholanxis, and Xilef.)**

**Me: Speak of the devil! Great to see you guys.**

**Dynilexs: Cholanxis! (Glomp)**

**Ularxa: Timex. (Glare)**

**Xemichal: OMG! It's Xion! (Starts running, but is stopped by Aryx) Oh, come on, no need to be jealous.**

**Aryx: I'm not jealous, she doesn't know you. And Xenri, (Xenri freezes) Axel doesn't know you.**

**Xenri: Whaaaaaat?**

**Timex: Anyways, weren't we going to kill these guys.**

**Xenri: I'm not killing Axel!**

**Raxsah: I'm not killing Demyx!**

**Me: Don't worry, someone else will kill them. Now, let's get started.**

Gr: Right, you heard the dare. Do it!

T.J: *casts Raise on Xemnas and revives him* You're up first again. *gives him dare*

Mansex: I will not be- He changed it already, didn't he?

Destiny: Yep, afraid so.

T.J: Xigbar!

Xigbar: I hate my life. *jumps into shark infested lake*

Gr: LOL.

T.J: I don't know, i didn't like him either. Next?

Xaldin: *sighs* First the dreadlocks, now death. Why do you hate me?

Destiny: Reason isn't needed for drastic actions.

Xaldin: What? What does that-

Gr: Die! *summons massive hole under Xaldin's feet, A Hydra reaches up and snaps Xaldin's spine in two*

Destiny: ...ouch.

Gr: You did say horrible.

Destiny: True.

T.J: Next?

Vexen: Finally, somebody recongises me! And Axel?

Axel: Huh?

Vexen: *takes him by the collar and drags him out of the room*

Axel: What's the big idea?

Vexen: Don't take it personally, it's a dare. I, however, will be delivering it personally.

Axel: Wha-

Vexen: *locks Axel in the closet*

Lexaeus: ...*gives Ularxa tomahawk* You know it's called Skysplitter.

Ularxa: Cool. Saix?

Saix: Oh, for the love of-

Ularxa: Die! *bashes Skysplitter into Saix's head*

Saix: *dead*

T.J: *casts Raise on Saix and revives him*

Saix: Oh good. For a moment there-

Ularxa: *hits Saix handed than last time on the head*

Saix: *dead...again*

Gr: Next?

Zexion: I thank you Destiny. Come, Addixem *goes into Library with Addixem*

Addixem: Sweet.

T.J: *casts Raise on Saix again*

Saix: Thank you co-author lady. I lo- they're gonna beat me up again aren't they...?

T.J: *nods then LOLs*

(after minutes of brutal senseless beating later...)

Saix: *bleeding and dead*

Axel: I'm already in here.

Gr: Okay then. You're freed. *opens closet door*

Axel: Sweet! *looks around*

Vexen, Zexion, Dynilexs, Adiixem and Gr: *pushes him in again and locks the door*

Axel: Oh, come on!

Demyx: *still in other room* Yeah, sure. Just let me finish this movie. *munches on popcorn*

Luxord: *drunk* I'm going where now?

Gr: You're goin' hikin' man.

Luxord: *drunk* I'm a viking now?

Gr: *facepalms* Just...go *opens portal to Paramina Rift (FFXII)*

Luxord: *drunk* hubba bubba bob now?

T.J: Remember, no magic or weapons. Aything suspicious and the Hydras eat ya. *pushes him in and closes the portal with her hands*

Marluxia: *staring at a mirror in bald depression* Oh really?

Destiny: Yes...

Marluxia: Well, in that case...no. Now, leave me alone. *goes back to looking himself in the mirror*

Destiny: *sadface*

Larxene: *almost cries* Thanks. Come with me?

Destiny: Sure.

Larxene: Oh, almost forgot. *points to houses with numerals V, IV, VI, VII, VIII, XIII and I written them. They explode in nuclear explosions*

Destiny: Come on. *takes Larxene to spa*

Roxas: Meh, I'll pass.

Destiny: *from behind spa wall* You can't. Rain, tell him.

Gr: Meh, I'll let this one go.

Destiny: Why?

Gr: Axel annoys me.

Axel: *from inside closet* I heard that.

Addixem: I wanna beat Roxas up.

Dynilexs: ...Me too...i guess

Destiny: Author guy. You totally got my OC personalities wrong.

Gr: I can't help it. I just read the first chapter an hour or so ago. What did you expect?

Destiny: Some respect.

T.J: Next!

Xion: Sweet! *destroys Saix's house* That's for calling me a worthless puppet! * joins Larxene and Destiny in the spa*

Sora: *gives Destiny Kingdom Key* Please don't hurt me...

Riku: Why should I? Rain, can I pass on this?

Gr: No. I don't like you. You're too damn stong!

Riku: I'll pay you 10,000 munny.

Gr: Nice try. I know how much that amounts to. It's only a 100 bucks.

Riku: I can give yiu more.

Gr: *tackles Riku and pushes him of cliff* And stay down!

T.J: Okay, next?

Kairi: *joins Destiny, Larxene and Xion is spa* I love you Destiny.

Destiny: *hugs her*

Larxene: *goes to hug Kairi but...*

Kairi: No, Larxene, I will not make out with you. Handshake?

Larxene: Works. *shakes hand with Kairi*

Gr: Okay, this one's definitely unusual. Oi, Org. XIII! Hear this out!

(All the characters mentioned above and Destiny's OC's have an epic battle. Destiny's OC's win by a landslide)

Gr: Wow, Xenri's hot.

Destiny: *elbows him* Not. LOL.

T.J: Well, I guess that's all for this chapter. We hope to see you again!

Gr: Same here! *casts Raise and revives all the dead people*

* * *

><p><strong>x-the curtains close-x<strong>


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: ...Where did the cookies go? Did Mansex steal them again? Never mind, we don't have time. **

**Let the madness ensue!**

* * *

><p>Gr: And we're back with another chapter of- OH MY *** GAWD! *sees F.K. Skywalker walk in*<p>

F.K: Hey, Rain. How're you doing?

Gr: Speak of the devil. This set of dares is from F.K. She says:

**I've got some dares that I really want you to use! ^^ Most of them are questions because I can't think violently late at night. -.- You guys just got lucky today...**

**Namine: Tie yourself at a stake like in the Salem Witch Trials.**

**Xemnas: Wear a Gothic Lolita dress for the entire chapter.**

**Xigbar: Act like a pirate for the entire chapter.**

**Xaldin: Why do you have funny looking sideburns?**

**Vexen: Jump in a volcano without using your powers to protect you.**

**Lexaeus: Why are you always so quiet?**

**Zexion: Stop being so emo for the rest of the chapter.**

**Saix: Stuff your pockets with tuna, then go in a room filled with cats.**

**Axel: Burn Namine at the stake, then you can hang out with me while the rest of the crew gets tortured! ^^ You can have some cake and ice-cream!**

**Demyx: I feel like being nice to you. Go and spend the chapter at the beach.**

**Luxord: Sing the "I've Got A Jar Of Dirt" song.**

**Marluxia: Act like Zexion for the rest of the chapter, and break your scythe.**

**Larxene: Stab yourself with your knives. Then go die in a hole.**

**Roxas: Have as many sea salt ice cream as you want.**

**Xion: What's with your hood magically going on and off your head?**

**Sora: Can T. J. borrow your crown necklace for the chapter? Then have fun with Roxas.**

**Riku: Seriously, what's with the black blindfold around your eyes?**

**Kairi: Same as Namine's torture. Have fun! ^^**

**DiZ: Why do you only show one eye like Emo Zexion?**

**Leon: Hang upside down for a few hours, then sing Mexican mariachi songs.**

**Cloud: Why does your sword have mummy bandages wrapped around it?**

**Xehanort: Stab yourself with your Keyblade.**

**Vanitas: Be known as "Van-Van" for the rest of the chapter.**

**Terra: I don't like you. Go inside a room filled with your rabid fangirls.**

**Aqua: I kinda like you. Can I have a Wayfinder?**

**Ventus: Same as Roxas.**

**Have fun everyone!^^**

Gr: Okay, let the madness ensue.

Namine: What's 'Salem Witch Trials'?

Gr: Forget that part. Are you doing it.

Namine: ...if it makes everyone happy...

Gr: Fantastic! Here you go. *summons a stake from Salem and a rope*

Namine: ...*walks upto stake and trie to hie herself up* ...I think I need help...

T.J: My pleaure. *ties Namine to the stake with rope...tight*

Namine: ...I can't breathe properly...

Gr: Well, this dare wasn't to kill you so I'll be generous. *makes an air bubble around Namine's face*

Vanitas: No fair!

Tachyon: Ahem!

Vanitas: *shuts up*

Mansex: What's lolita mean?

F.K: *whispers detailed definition of lolita into Mansex's ear*

Mansex: *sighs* Fine.

F.K: *summons lolita dress out of nowhere and puts it on Mansex*

Mansex: ...Shoot me now.

Xigbar: Arr me mateys! What be happenin' here?

Xaldin: Two words. Square. Enix. 'Nuff said.

Vexen: I refuse to be treated like this!

T.J: Shut up! You doing it or not?

Vexen: ...fine.

Gr: *teleports everyone to the edge of a volcano* Do it.

Vexen: Goodbye cruel world. *jumps into volcano and screams...and dies*

Gr: *teleports everyone back* That was fun. Next?

Lexaeus: ...*shrugs*

Gr: ...Okay? Zexion!

Zexion: ...What do I need to do? Kiss flowers or something?

Gr: Go ahead.

Zexion: *kisses one of Marluxia's flowers* Happy?

Marluxia: Hey, you just kissed my baby! *strokes flowers' petals* It's ok, the mean flower kisser's gone. *glares at Zexion*

Gr: Shut up Marly. Next?

Saix: *stuffs pockets with tunas* Let's get on with it.

Gr: *shows Saix a door with a sign saying 'Beware: feral cats'*

Saix: *walks in. Seconds later is heard screaming*

Axel: ...Hurt poor Namine? Sweet! *snap finger and Namine and stake is set on fire*

Namine: ...God...*dies*

Axel: Meh. Where are the cookies?

F.K: Right here.

Axel: Sweet. *sits beside F.K and eats cookies*

Demyx: Yay, everyone loves me! *makes dark corridor to beach and has fun*

Gr: Luxord!

Luxord: *drunk* Who died?

Gr: No one...yet.

Luxord: *drunk* You wanna die that bad?

Gr: Just do your dare, you annoyong old man.

Luxord: *drunk* I am NOT old. What do I do?

F.K: *puts earphones into Luxord's ears* Sing this song.

Luxord: *drunk; earphones in ear* What?

F.K: *yells into Luxord's ear* Sing this song!

Luxord: *drunk; earphones in ear; yells* What's it called?

F.K: *yells* I've Got A Jar Of Dirt!

Luxord: *drunk; earphones in ears; yells* That's nice to know! But what's this song called?

F.K: *yells* That's what I jut told you!

Luxord: *drunk; earphones in ears; yells* What!

F.k: Rain. Hydra. Please?

Gr: Happy to. *opens portal to Hydra dimension and pushes Luxord in* Next?

Marluxia: ...Break my baby? ...No, I refuse to do so.

Gr: Hydra...

Marluxia: Oh, fine then! *breaks scythe and runs out of room crying*

Gr: ...Poor guy. Next?

Larxene: What happened to you liking me!

Gr and F.K: Shut up!

T.J: Jinx. LOL.

Gr: Whatever. Larxene, stab or Hydra bite?

Larxene: ...Stab. *stabs self then falls in random hole and dies*

Roxas: Yay! *runs off to ice cream shop*

Xion: Different people/Nobodies see me as what they don't want to see.

Gr: Oh, that explains why you look so much like Kairi.

Xion: *glares at Gr* That's because I DO look like HER.

Gr: Next!

Sora: Yeah, whatever. *hands T.J necklace* Just try not to break it. It's very special t-

T.J: *breaks it* Oops. Sorry Sora...

Sora: *eye twitches* Whatever, I'm off. *goes with Roxas to ice cream shop*

Riku: I need the blindfold so that I can't see what I touch. If I see what I want to attack, it fuels my anger and hatred and it pushes to give in to the darkness. With the blindfold on I can contain and control and darkness within and harness it as a being instead of a weapon.

F.K: So it's a Pokemon hold item?

Riku: You could say that, yeah.

DiZ: Ienzo said it was the fashion trend of the day. Why, does it look bad on me?

Zexion: No, no, no. It's completely fine. You just look like you're half blind.

DiZ: Meh. *looks bored*

Leon: *dances up stairs and hangs from banisters*

Gr: I don't see you dancing, pretty boy!

Leon: *tries to dance but falls of and breaks bones*

Gr: ...

Leon: ...*faints*

Cloud: *still dancing* You're cruel. And to answer your question, they're not mummy bandages. They're purity cloths. They keep my sword clean no matter how much blood, dirt, or anything stains it.

Gr: *looks up on FFwiki.* No...That's not what your wiki page says.

Cloud: *still dancing* Well, that's what it is, okay? Just move on and let me be.

Gr: KK. Next?

Xehanort: And why should I listen to you?

Gr: Because she has the right, an I have the power to kill you right here and now.

Xehanort: ...point. Fine then. *summons his keyblade and stabs self* OW! *cures himself* That's gonna leave a scar.

Gr: Sure hope so. Van-van?

Van-van: Don't you dare-

Tachyon: Ahem!

Van-van: *shuts up*

Gr: Terra?

Terra: I don't like you either! I actually like my fangirls. They actually think I'm nice.

Gr: LOL. You're gonna love the ones I have in store for you. *shows Terra door leading to a dark room*

Terra: Ladies, I'ma coming. *steps into room and is instantly blocked from view by billions of rabid fangirls. He screams*

Aqua: Aww, that's sweet. And no, you can't.

F.K:Oh bugger. *pouts*

Ventus: Yay, ice cream! *goes to ice cream shop with Sora and Roxas*

Gr: That's all from F.K.

F.K: Thank you.

Everyone: Are we done?

Gr: ...Fine, I'll be generous.

T.J: No fair! I wanted my dares!

Gr: Oh whatever, you take over. I'm hungry. *walks off into random portal*

T.J: Yay! These are my dares:

**Okay, I'm back from drawing Arceus! *Glares at unfinished drawing* It looks awesome, but the 'Original One' is going to give me a headache. So, I let out my frustration by torturing you guys!**

**Xemnas: Let my crazy friend David be the Superior of the Organization.**

**Xigbar: Take off your eyepatch for 2 chapters.**

**Xaldin: Eh, I'll be nice to you this time. Watch the video of Aqua and Zack's date.**

**Vexen: Try to tame a wild Volti. And no weapons or powers!**

**Lexaeus: Dress up as Arceus.**

**Zexion: I heard that Demyx likes to stalk you. Your thoughts about it? And let Axel burn your Dictionary.**

**Saix: Dress up as a dog. Then I get to glomp you!**

**Axel: I find it fun to use you to do my dirty work. Go burn down Vexen's lab.**

**Demyx: How's your innocence after watching all the Scary Movies?**

**Luxord: Can I have your cards? I have more rum...**

**Marluxia: I heard someone say that they can't tell if you're a girl or a guy. Your thoughts?**

**Larxene: I'm gonna call you Pikachu. And I wonder if I can catch YOU in a pokeball...**

**Roxas: I'm really running out of ideas for you. So have this laser pointer. You can use it on Saix!**

**Xion: It's the Gallows for you. No one evades my favorite form of torture and gets away with it.**

**Sora: Do you want ice cream? I have cookie dough flavor...**

**Riku: Amanda says you look like a monkey.**

**Kairi: I liked you better when you didn't have a heart.**

**Ventus: You want a Volti pup? They're soft and cute and fluffy and nice and glompable!**

**Terra: Go into a room with my friend India. You won't come back with your sanity intact.**

**Aqua: Can you make me a Wayfinder? I'll be nice...**

**Van-Van: Ha, I'm already using it. Hold this. *Hands him a bomb and runs***

**Xehanort: Learn to play the piano. Then go and dress up as Mew.**

**Sephiroth: Sing One Winged Angel.**

**Leon: Where'd you get the scar?**

**Cloud: WHY DID YOU USE VINNEY'S CAPE?**

**Okay, I'm good! And, I have a present! A pack of the most vicious Volti ever! They get along pretty well with Hydras. Have fun!**

F.K: You heard her!

Mansex: I hate my name...Fine, David, I hereby dub thee the Superior for a day.

David: Sweet.

Xigbar: What, that's all? *lifts eyepath to show a blank black eye socket with the skin around it terribly scarred*

Xaldin: *smiles* Thank you, co-author lady.

T.J: Vexen? Where's Vexen?

F.K: Dead in the volcano?

T.J: Not. FAIR! *pouts*

F.K: I guess somethings are just not meant to happen.

Lexaeus: ...What's Arceus?

T.J: *shows him her drawing of Arceus*

Lexaeus: *walks off into a dark corridor and comes back wearing an Arceus cotume* ...

T.J: Wow, you actually look less menacing in this.

Lexaeus: *glares at T.J*

Ok, ok. you look just as menacing as you usually are.

Lexaeus: *still glares at T.J*

T.J: Next!

Zexion: My thoughts? Gross. And...*sighs and hands Axel dictionary*...Burn my Lexicon.

Axel: I'm loving this! *burns dictionary*

Zexion: *takes another one out of his cloak* I always have extras ready just in case anything like this happens.

Axel: *eye twitches*

T.J: Saix!

Saix: *still screaming from cat room* WHAT!

T.J: You have another dare.

Saix: *comes out of room and quickly shuts the door. his clothes are torn and body scarred and bleeding* What?

T.J: *hands him dog costume* Wear it!

Saix: *puts it on* Happy?

Axel: No. *shows Saix chewtoy*

Saix: *sits on ground and wags tongue*

T.J: *glomps him* XD

Axel: ...heheh, now I'm happy. *goes back to eating cookies.

T.J: Axel, you're up.

Axel: *reads dare* Oh, I love you two. *group hugs T.J and F.K then goes to burn down Vexen's lab*

F.K: Hey, wanna bring Vexen back? I wanna see his face when Axel burns his lab.

T.J: Now you tell me! GRRR...*brings back Vexen from the dead*

Vexen: Oh thank you. Is it my turn?

T.J: No, it's Axel's. I just want you to see him do his dare.

Vexen: *grins*Oh, what is it?

Axel: *blows Vexen's lab up and comes back* This.

Vexen: *eye twitches then screams* ! DX

Demyx: *comes back from beach* Meh, I'm still innocent.

T.J: Right, Luxord's next. *brings back Luxord from Hydra dimension*

Luxord: *drunk* Hey, I was getting used to those snakes! They were cute...

T.J: I'm sure they are. Now, it's your turn.

Luxord: *drunk; reads dare* Oh, ok. For a moment there I though you wanted my munny. *gives T.J cards*

T.J: Sweet! Now I'm gonna sell them for a lot of Munny! *grins evilly*

Marluxia: I'm a man, okay. I have muscles, I have a square chin, and if you haven't noticed my chest is flat. If even after that you think me as a female, prepare to be slaughtered in your sleep. *summons broken scythe and cries*

T.J: *brings back Larxene* It's yourturn Pikachu.

Larxene: Excuse moi?

T.J: From this chapter on, you will be known as Pinkachu. Now, prepare to be caught! *randomly brings up a Master Ball and throws it*

Larxene: ...meep. *tries to run but is captured in Master Ball*

T.J: Critical! Yeah!

Roxas: Sweet! *points laser pointer at Saix*

Saix: What the...?

Roxas: *giggles*

Saix: *set pants on fire* AAAAHHH! *runs around room with fire on his butt*

Everyone: LOL XD

Xion: ...*is quietly led to the gallows and locked in*

T.J: That was more uneventful than I thought.

Sora: Yes please! *glomps T.J and eats ice cream*

Riku: Tell her I don't care. I get worse comments than that, believe me.

Kairi: ...So did I. *glares at Riku*

Riku: Hey, I already sad Sorry. You already forgave me, remember?

Kairi: ...Whatever.

Ventus: Yes please! *glomps T.J and steals Volti pups from her* They are so cute! *snuggles Volti pups*

Terra: *comes out of room of fangirls with torn clothes and lipstick stains all over* Anything to get away from them! *goes into room with India*

Gr: *comes into room with a slushie* Hey I'm ba- Okay, Why is Saix running around the room with his ass on fire?

T.J: *points at Roxas's laser pointer*

Gr: Oh, that's ok then. Carry on. *sits down on throne next to Tachyon* How's it goin'?

Tachyon: You know, the usual. *pushes lega down so Van-van gets puhed down*

Van-van: *mumbles something*

Tachyon: What was that?

Van-van: Jut saying, you have really nice feet. Do you get them manicured?

Tachyon: *ignores him*

Aqua: No. Seriously, what is with you two and Wayfinders?

T.J: We like 'em.

Van-van: What?

(Tachyon lavitates away and Everyone moves a mile away from him)

Van-van: What th- *blows up with a BADOOOOOOOOOM!*

Xehanort: I aready know piano. *cracks figers, summons piano and plays Mozart's Sonata* What's a Mew?

T.J: *shows him a picture of Mew*

Xehanort: ...Fine. *summons Mew costume and wears it* Anyone laughs and they get a Keyblade up their hole, understood.

Everyone: *nervously nods*

Sephiroth: *clears throat and starts singing on completely wrong pitch and tone*

Gr: Shut him up! *clutches ears*

Axel: *summons pillow and shoots it into Sephiroth's mouth*

Sephiroth: *chokes on feathers and faints*

Cloud: *still dancing* Is he dead?

Gr: I doubt it.

Cloud: *dances right in top of Sephiroth then steps twice on his crotch, waking him up*

Sephiroth: *screams bloody murder then faints again*

Gr: Wow. Ok, you're forgiven. You can stop dancing.

Cloud: Yeah, about that...My thigh and shin muscles are so worked up that if I stop, they might get seriously cramped.

Gr: Not what I intended, bit OK. Your loss bro.

Cloud: *dances away from Gr*

Leon: *is revived by T.J* I got it from Seifer.

Everyone: *stares at Seifer(KH2)*

Leon: No, not him. I meant the one from FFVIII.

Everyone: Oh...

Cloud: I didn't. He had one from before...didn't he?

Gr: Oh, another chapter done.

T.J: Coolies. Cya until next chapter everyone!

* * *

><p><strong>-x- curtains fall -x-<strong>


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: ...Okay, sorry for the delay guys. I blame my writer's block... Anyway, we're back. So...**

**Let the madness ensue!**

* * *

><p>Gr: Hey wonderful people of the world. Welcome to another chapter of KH Truth and Dare.<p>

Everyone: *bored* hmm? *applauds*

Gr: Thank you for your undying love and support *eye twitches* And here we have some dares from **The Lexicon of Zexion**. They say:

**My turn to torture! Muah ha ha ha ha! And I have a couple of guests to me introduce, Ettolrahc and Caasi (from New Adventure)! Ready? Now, for the torture...**

**Xemnas: Preform a ballet in the Marketplace in Radiant Garden.**

**Xigbar: Pin Xion to the wall with your guns.**

**Xaldin: Stab yourself with all your lances at the same time.**

**Vexen: Destroy your lab and break you shield, thing, whatever it is.**

**Lexaeus: Say more than 50 words in every chapter.**

**Zexion: Give me a proper copy of the Lexicon then enjoy a £5,000,000,000,000 book voucher.**

**Saix: Jump off Kingdom Hearts and do not use any powers or your weapon.**

**Axel: Snog Roxas in a room filled with AkuRoku fangirls.**

**Demyx: Break your sitar and get a proper weapon.**

**Luxord: Burn all your alcoholic drinks and cards and drink only water until you die of old age.**

**Marluxia: Summon millions of your favourite types of flowers ready for a later dare.**

**Larxene: Give me your knives then use Xaldin's lances to commit suicide.**

**Roxas: Have a holiday after your previous torture.**

**Xion: Fight Ettolrahc. Trust me, it will not be nice.**

**Sora: Kiss Tidus.**

**Riku: Cut your hair and die it pale green.**

**Kairi: Get a half decent Keyblade then kill yourself. Your current one would not be Potassium.**

**Cloud: Snog Leon.**

**Leon: Snog Cloud.**

**Aerith: Wear an outfit that isn't pink or a dress.**

**Yuffie: Wear clothing that doesn't need censorship.**

**Merlin: Burn all Marluxia's flowers.**

**Tidus: Take Caasi on a date.**

**Selphie: Get a new voice! Or die.**

**Wakka: Get a proper haircut, outfit, weapon and personality. Also, learn to talk.**

**Gr: Consider me as another co-host!**

**T.J: Wear Aerith's dress for the next three chapters. He he.**

**That's it. And all of you remember, you'll have to deal with Ettolrahc and Caasi if you do anything bad! Like cheat. You have to follow the instructions to the letter.**

Gr: ...And begin.

Mansex: *eye twitches* Now I have to dance? What sort of cruel world was I taken into? Kingdom Hearts!

Gr: Move it, Xemmy! *opens portal to Radiant Garden*

Mansex: If I must... *walks into Town Square and starts dancing 'Swan Lake'*

Gr: *smirks* ...and you thought I wouldn't film it... *records with a camcorder*

T.J: Xigbar!

Xigbar: Happily. *shoots four laser bullets that pin Xion to the wall by the coat*

Xion: ...This feels very uncomfortable.

Xaldin: ...Why do you hate me?

Gr: They don't need a reason, Fuzzball. Just do it!

Xaldin: *glares at Gr* Fine. *Summons all lances and stabs self* OW! No wonder Sora had a hard time beating me. It frickin' hurts!

Gr: That's right. Next?

Vexen: ...But Axel destroyed it yesterday, remember?

Axel: Destroyed what?

Vexen: *walks over to lab door* My lab. You des... destroy? *stares at lab which is the way it is: creepy* i don't get it.

Gr: Hey, the author wills it, it happens.

Vexen: ...I hate you. *summons Frozen Pride and throws it inside lab, making a giant explosion* Happy?

Gr: Nope...oh, wait for it.

Vexen: ...huh? *a giant piece of burnt metal falls on his head and he faints*

Gr: Yup, now I'm happy.

Lexaeus: ...What do you want me to say?

Gr: Anything works, bro. Just say 43 more words.

Lexaeus: ...about what?

Gr: 41. Come on, big guy.

Lexaeus: ...Does it count if I only talk to Zexion?

Gr: Yeah, so long as you reach 50. And only 32 to go.

Lexaeus: ...Please stop counting. It's annoying.

Gr: 27...

Lexaeus: ...It's not funny, Rain. Shut up.

Gr: ...21.

Lexaeus: ...T.J? Is it okay if I beat him up?

T.J: I don't know. I'm not his mom. Oh, and you've got 12 more words to say.

Lexaeus: ...You are not helping.

T.J: I know. You've got 8 more.

Lexaus: Can you both please stop?

Gr: Nope, sorry big guy. You have only-

Lexaeus: DON'T MOCK ME!

Gr: Wow, exactly 50 words. It's a record, Lexaeus.

Lexaeus: ...*sighs and walks off*

Gr: Oh, and I think this means you have to say at least 50 words every chapter. Emphasis on the ~every~.

Lexaeus: ...*eye twitches*

Zexion: Hate to break it to you...whatever your name is...but my original Lexicon was flushed down the toilet by...someone. *glares at Demyx*

Demyx: I told you, itwasn'...dammit! Please don't hurt me...?

Zexion: Yeah, whatever. You can have my favourite one *hands LoZ a copy of the Lexicon with red paint splattered on the cover*

LoZ: ...wow.

Saix: I have to WHAT!

Gr: Dude, you have a brain. You understand.

Saix: Fine...whatever. *makes dark corridor to the top of Kingdom Hearts and chokes* Crap, I forgot - *wheeze* - that this was - *wheeze* - in space! *falls off Kingdom Hearts...and floats in space...*

Gr: ...Okay, that went...so much better than I extected! Next!

Axel: *reads dare and frowns* Do that to my buddy Roxas?

Roxas: A dare's a dare buddy. I'm ready to embrace it. Call in the...*shudders*...fanfirls...

Axel: Okay. *summons fangirls and snogs Roxas in a room full of them*

Roxas: Oh no you don't... *pull Axel's coat and drags him into the room with him*

Axel: Rain! This wasn't the plan!

Gr: ...Meh. Next?

Demyx: *reads dare and looks crestfallen* But..but..but- my baby! *hugs Arpeggio and starts crying*

Gr: The Hydras are always-

Demyx: Fine! *breaks sitar on Luxord's pool table and starts bawling*

Luxord: *drunk*Hey, that's my- *hic* -pool table!

Demyx: *still crying*...Where do I get another weapon...?

T.J: ...Aww, I can't take it any more. I love you Demyx! *glomps crying Demyx*

Demyx: *still crying* Wha-?

T.J: *summons an electric Fender 2G guitar and gives it to Demyx* Here, have this.

Demyx: *stops crying* ...she's beautiful... *cries again*

T.J: Aww, I love you! You really mean it?

Demyx: What? No, I meant the guitar.

T.J: Ah...ok. *steps away* Next!

Luxord: *drunk* hubbaloo baloo the bear!

Gr: ...huh? Anyway,do your dare, Luxord.

Luxord: *reads dare; drunk* I gotta give up mah booze! I'd rather eat Axel's hair!

Axel: What's wrong with my hair?

Luxord: *drunk* It's *hic* ugly!

Axel: ...*eye twitches* Say what...?

Luxord: *drunk I ain't giving up my booze! Rain, summon the Hy- *hic*

Gr: On it. *opens portal to Hydra's dimension and pushes Luxord in*

Marluxia: ...Okay? *summons a million kinds of different flowers*

Gr: We're gonna need a bigger room...

Xigbar: No problem! *messes with the fabrics of space and turns the room 3 times bigger*

Gr: Gotta hand it to ya, You're good.

Xigbar: *smirks*

Larxene: ...Why do you fxxxing bitches hate me so much! *screams then commits suicide with Xaldin's lances*

T.J: Meh, I'll bring her back anyway...eventually.

Roxas: ...Uhm, Okay. *opens dark corridor to Sunset Beach and has fun*

Xion: ...Who?

Ettolrahc: *comes in dramatically through window* Me.

Xion: ...Ok...

(One epic battle later...)

Ettolrahc: Too easy...

Xion: ...*faints*

Gr: ...Aw, that's mean. Next!

Sora: *reads dare and frowns* Say what now?

Tidus: Just do it, dude. I'm gay in LoZ's fic and so are you. So...just do it for his sake.

Sora: ...Okay. *gulps and sweatdrops*

Everyone: *gasps* :O

Sora and Tidus; *lips touch for a second and they spit on the floor*

Tidus: ...LoZ said you'd taste like candy...

Sora: ...I'm never doing that again. Rain, remind me to choose the Hydra next time...

Gr: Will do.

Riku: I have to cut my hair...Great.

Gr: *hands him scissors reluctantly* Here ya go...

Riku: I hate you all...*cuts hair then dyes hair green with instant hair dyer*

Gr: Wow, you suddenly look more attrative than before...I don't like it.

Kairi: Why does everyone want me dead! *steals Metal Chocobo from Sora and stabs self*

Cloud and Leon: *looks at each other bewildered* ...What?

Gr: Hydras, Hydras. One, two, three...

Cloud and Leon: *nervously snog each other* ...Sorry.

Gr: ...Ooh, and Aerith' next!

Aerith: Okay... *goes into changing room and changes into a biker's jacket and jeans*...Okay?

All boys in room: *stares*...Damn!

All girls in room: *stares jealously at Aerith* Hmph!

Yuffie: *My clothings do not need censorship! *raises chest and immidiately...*

All boys in room: *...get a nosebleed*

Yuffie: Oh, fine. *takes Mansex's Zebra-print coat and puts it on*

Mansex: Hey, where did you- That's mine!

Yuffie: I like it, so shut up. *summons her giant Shuriken*

Mansex: ...*shuts up*

Merlin: *comes in through portal* I believe I was summoned here?

Gr: Yes, Sir, you were. You see, we have a dare for you. *hands him dare*

Merlin: *reads dare* ...Oh dear...Very well, who is this Marluxia person?

Marluxia: *proudly stands up* Me, Sir.

Merlin: i believe I'm told to burn your flowers..or else, oh, I'm goin to be fed to the Hydras?

Marluxia: ...But...But Sir, my...my beautiful flowers...my babies...you...you...*sobs*

Marlin: What's to be done must be done! *casts Firaga on all flowers in room*

Marluxia: ...*screams and faints*

Gr: ...Wait, all the flowers? Crap, we gotta evacuate the area!

T.J: Why?

Gr: Because we're in a closed room and with a fire this huge...we're all pretty much gonna die.

T.J: Oh, in that case...Everybody panic!

Gr: *opens portal to another room* Hyrry up, everyone!

Everyone: *goes through before the room burns down*

T.J: *stares at LoZ* You...

LoZ: ...What?

Gr: *glares at LoZ* This is your fault.

LoZ: ...Meh, just move on.

Gr: Right, next?

Tidus: Great, another homosexual dare. Fine, but don't expect him to come back alive if he molests me. Come on Caasi...*takes Caasi on a date*

Selphie: What do you want me to do? Get a vocal cord transplant?

Gr: ...Not a bad idea...Vexen?

T.J: *revives Vexen*

Vexen: Yes?

Gr: Selphie, here, need a vocal transplant and-

Vexen: I'm on it. *takes Selphie to the next room*

(minutes later...)

Selphie: *comes back looking shy...and with bandages wrapped around her neck*

Gr: Can you talk now?

Selphie: *talks like Haley Williams* ...Yes. Wow, I sound awesome!

Gr: Yes. She, I mean Haley Williams, should totally do your voice in te games. You sound...good.

Selphie: Thanks.

Wakka: Ar you sayin I can't talk brah?

Gr: Just do it, Wakka.

Wakka: *changes clothes, gets a haircut, and tries to act cool* Hello, my name is Wakka. How are you today, ya?

Gr: Good enough. Now, go play with Roxas or something...

Wakka: ...*goes to beach with Roxas*

Gr: Okay next is me?...Okay, sure.

LoZ: *fist pumps with Gr* Yeah! In your face T.J!

T.j: *glares at him* ...And I wear Aerith's clothes...?

Gr: ...Well, a dare's a dare.

T.J: *goes to Aerith's room and wears her dress* Happy?

F.K: ...Sis, is that you?

T.J: ...*starts beating the crap out of Gr*

Gr: ...Ouch!

T.J: Due to technical issues, this chapter now has to come to an end.

Gr: But-

T.J: Can it! *kicks his nuts*

Gr: ...You're mean...wanna make a deal?

T.J: *lets Gr go* ...I'm listening.

Gr: You let the chapter go on and I make you...say, a pro co-author supreme?

T.J: That's better that co-author, right?

Gr: Well, yes, but there are a few side-effects...

T.J: Don't care! Let's go.

Gr: Just sign this paper that details all your requirements, pros and cons, personality details, soul level, the deal with the devil, the 100 year sleep...that's all.

T.J: ...*takes the parer and signs* I'll do it.

Gr: Cool. So, upon insistence from dear **GoldPhantom and z-eion**, we present to you his dares:

**hello Gold phantom here**

**Xemnas- you are xhenort's nobody summon his keyblade NOW**

**Roxas- become the leader of the organization leader **

**Namine- here are some custom keyblades(Kingdom hearts,a keyblade that utilizes kingdom hearts true power, destiny light) go beat siax marluxia and mansex up oh and kiss Roxas on the lips and admit you love him and i will give the two of you hearts*holds up hearts***

**Zexion- here is my custom lexion,book of redemption, it is the most powerful lexicon ever!**

**Kari- kiss sora**

**Larxene- who is your somebody**

**GR-do not let anyone hurt Roxas or Namine...Or else i will get my nobody and have him kill you.**

**Riku, i challenge you to a keyblade fight. Not Anselm seeker of darkness! You use soul eater and i will use my strongest keyblade, TRI-BLADE, which is about 10 times stronger than the X-blade. **

**Xemnas- make me a member of the organization and replace Xigbar with me.**

Gr: Oh, nice. Mansex?

Mansex: This is ridiculous! I can't summon Keyblades!

Gr: Too bad.

Mansex: No, no, no no no no-

Gr: *opens Hydra portal and pushes Mansex in*

Roxas: Sweet, I always wanted this. Axel, you're second in command!

Axel: *fist pumps* Ch-yeah!

Namine: ...Oh, ok. *takes the keyblades (of course gives one to Roxas) and kisses Roxas* I love...you.

Roxas: ...Hummana *faints from kiss*

Namine: Oh, dear. *uses Water (yes, it's a spell! llok up FFwikia/KHwikia) to wake Roxas up*

Roxas: Sweet...*takes a heart and gives the other to Namine*

GoldPhantom: ...Don't forget to kiss again near the end.

Roxas and Namine: *completely ignore GP and kisses each other passionately*

Gr: ...Right. Zexion?

Zexion: ...You totally stole that from the Book of Retribution, the Book of Revelation, and the Book of Remembrance...But, sure, I'll take it. Thanks.

T.J: *revives Kairi* ...Wait, why do I feel so weak after using magic?

Gr: *quietly smirks and grins evilly* Kairi...?

Kairi: *blushes*...ummm

Sora: ...I hate you darers...but...I love you Kairi. *kisses her*

Kairi: *kisses back*

(monutes later...)

Kairi and Sora: *passionately exchanging kisses*

Gr: ...Okay, now I'm getting sick. As for my dare, don't worry about it. I don't particuarly like any pairings (really, romance isn't my thing...) but Roxas and Namine are safe...I like blondes. Although...Even if I do end up hurting them, and in turn you killing me, you'll have to deal with my family of lawyers and their lawyers.

GoldPhantom: ...I see.

Larxene: I don't have any memories of me being me in any other life, so I don't know. Lots of people like to believe it's either Arlene, Relena, Nerela... etc.

GoldPhantom: ...I see...

Gr: Riku?

Riku: ...I hate my hair...Oh, my turn again?

Gr: Yep...*hands him dare*

Riku: ...*reads dare* Oh, come on! That is such an overexaggeration of a weapon!

GoldPhantom: *summons massive TRI-BLADE* You chicken?

Riku: Against you with just Souleater? Yes.

GoldPhantom: Rain. Hydras.

Gr: *gets ready to summon Hydra when...*

Riku: *...summons Souleater and attacks GP*

(One epic battle later...)

Riku: *dead; mutilated*

Gr: Eurgh...that's brutal...

GoldPhantom: ...Meh. *withdraws TRI-BLADE*

Gr: T.J?

T.J: *revives Mansex*

Mansex: ...Oh...that fells good. Do I have a dare again?

Gr: Yesh. *hands him dare*

Mansex: ...Yeah, sure, welcome aboard. I, Superior of The In-Between, dub thee Number II...

Xigbar: Hey!

Mansex: ...*smiles*

T.J: And...I think that's all we have time for.

Gr: Aww, I was having fun. *grins evilly*

T.J: I feel...weird. Are you sure that contract...was a good idea?

Gr: You signed it dudette. Why blame me?

T.J: Anyway, cya guys.

* * *

><p><strong>-x- curtains fall -x-<strong>


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: ...Okay, sorry for the delay guys. I blame my writer's block...And homework...And my bloody annoying family(btw if my family is reading this: I'm sorry.)...But I'm alive and well and now I'm back so...**

**Let the madness ensue!**

* * *

><p>Gr: Hey, guess who's back?<p>

KH crew and reviewers: *death glares Gr* Where the fawkes have you been?

Gr: *sweatdrop* There were...issues. But I'm back now.

T.J: I still haven't forgiven you for the contract, you know.

Gr: But you wanted to sign it yourself.

T.J: Meh. I missed you you sarcastic little bastard.

Gr: Likewise. Now, would you please?

T.J: But of course. Our first set of dares today is from **NexarkXIII** and she says:

**030 ello! HIYA GR! (glomps)**

**XIGGY, VEXY, XEMMY, XALDY, LUXY SAISAI! *runs in and hugs them* you guys rock!**

**hey Gr here are my dares!**

**Xiggy your my favorite so your spared from the sadistic plans about to come to fruition. Vexy your my second and luxy third so you2 are spared akso and tje 3 of you get cookies!**

**Vanitas go stab Ventus for killing you! you were Epic!**

**Larxene burn all of your bras! Same for all the girls except namine she's alright.**

**Fixes Vexens lab**

**Sends Axle into the movie jaws.**

**Saix heres a puppy costume wear it and follow Xemmy! you can also no longer talk you must only bark!**

**Sora you must dye your own hair neon red. **

**Cloud you must paint sephiroths sword neon pink!**

**th. th. th, that's all folks buh bye!**

Gr: Hey Nexark! Good to see y- *gets glomped by Nexark*

Nexark: Where the fawkes have you been!

Gr: *recovers from glomp* I already apologised. T.J?

T.J: But of course. *shows people their dares*

Xigbar: Suh-weet dude!

Vexen: *sighs relieved* Ah, relief.

Luxord: *drunk* Huh? No, I'll call you back later.

Nexark: What?

Gr: Luxord's drunk. Don't mind him too much.

Nexark: Okie.

Ventus: ...Now, Vani. You don't want to do this. I apologised, remember?

Vanitas: Apologies ain't gonna cut it. *stabs Ventus with Earthshaker and No Name*

Terra: Hey, those are my Keyblades!

Vanitas: *death glares Terra*

Terra: *shuts up and sweatdrops*

Larxene: I refuse!

Gr: I think not. *opens Hydra portal*

Larxene: Fine, you little bitch. *takes off bra from the inside, then goes into room with all her bras and burns all of them with Axel's chakrams*

Aqua: Really? All females? How fawking sexit is that?

Nexark: Ahem. I'm a female, if you haven't noticed my rack.

Gr: *looks at her chest and faints from nosebleed*

Nexark: Oh god.

Aqua: Fine. *does the same as Larxene*

Kairi: ...*sobs terribly*

Nexark: No exceptions.

Kairi: ...*cries and does the same as Aqua then runs out of room crying*

Selphie: Really? Me too?

T.J: Uh-huh. *nods*

Selphie: Well, fawke you all! *does the same as Aqua*

Gr: *recovers* What'd I miss?

Nexark: Not much dude. Just watch.

Gr: *watches*

Aerith and Yuffie: Oh hell...*does the same as Selphie*

Namine: Thank you Nexark.

Nexark: *smiles reassuringly*

Vexen: ...I am, for a limited time, in your debt.

Axel: ...Where am I? *sees shark* Oh.

Saix: Arf arf! ...arf? (You can't! ...huh?)

T.J: Lo siento, muchacho. Me no comprendo. *puts puppy costume on Saix*

Saix: Arf arf arfuh arf. Arfuh arf? (I thought you liked me. What the heck?)

Nexark: Wow.

Saix: Arf arfuh arfuh arf arf. (Don't even think about it.)

Sora: It can't be that bad right?

Gr: ...I do't know. You doing it?

Sora: As long as its painless.

Gr: It is.

Sora: Ok. T.J?

T.J: What? Oh, right. *dyes Sora's hair neon red*

Sora: I looks like like someone bled on my head. Nice. Feels great.

Gr: Oh, not for long. Scyther!

T.J: *takes out six pokeballs and throws them* Go Reaper, Slasher, Cutter, Hacker, Blade, and Marlon!

(all pokeballs open and Scythers fly out and swarm around Sora's head)

Nexark: Wow.

Sora: *screams bloody murder* NOT MY HAIR! NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FXXXING HAIR!

* * *

><p>AN: For those who have no idea what is goin on here, you are free to skip this and read the next paragraph. Scythers are poemon, oroiginally introduced along with the first wave of 150 pokemon in 1997. They are attracted to the colour red like bulls and tend to get hyper.

T.J: Return! *returns all Scythers into their balls*

Sora: *faints with messy hair*

Gr: Alrighty. Cloud?

Cloud: My pleasure. *tries to steal Sephiroth's sword...*

Sephiroth: *...attacks Cloud with it* No! No, no no no, no! No! NO!

Cloud: *has an idea* Hey, is that Aerith?

Sephiroth: Where! I wanna kill her! *puts down sword ad flies across the room looking for Aerith*

Cloud: *takes sword and paints it pink*

Sephiroth: *sees his sword* NOOOOOO! MY SWORD! MY BEAUTIFUL FXXXING SWORD!

Gr: Wow, that went better than expected.

T.J: Yep. That's all from Nexark.

Nexark: Yep. See ya later Gr.

Gr: Cya buddy.

Cloud: Are we done? I need a nap...


End file.
